Dr. Library: Hello and welcome to Review Roulette, where we review various bad things across the board and pray we don't lose what scraps of our sanity we have left. In my partner's case, one must keep in mind this is probably therapy for the poor fellow. There was that indcident with Slenderman......
ahem- Moving on, I"m Dr. Library and my esteemed colleague on this torture-filled, adventurous endeavor, is the The Troper.
The Troper: I'll give you lot five guesses as to why that's my name, and yes, indeed welcome to our first review, a tale...that is not all that creative deep down.
Dr. Library : Creative? The only thing creative about this one is that it someone managed to exist!
The Troper: Yes, without a shadow of a doubt, the only way we could possibly describe this fanfic, as of yet, is....well...okay, we're not gonna cut corners, it's the first Season of Yugioh! GX.
Dr. Library: Now, Troper and I are big fans of the Yu-Gi-oh! Franchise as a whole, despite varying opinions on the shows, characters and whatnot. However, YGO GX is considered, at the best, a miss-and-hit, lighter version of the original YGO show. But this fanfic shows it's shooting blind in the opposite direction of the barn's broadside. It not only makes the mistake of trying to use an 8000 life point format for its duels, it does with the shows canon duels, extending them uncessarily. And perhaps the biggest flaw...it's re-telling the show with a new 'main' character.
The Troper: Now, trust me, the good Doctor and I are NOT, NOT, against the very idea of an OC, in fact, me and him are guilty of quite a few of them in our time. There is, however, a very nasty word that often gets used for such a character: The dreaded Mary Sue.
Dr. Library: Now, Mary/Gary- Sue/Stu is bandied about quite a lot these days, but this one is special. It doesn't take over the plot, fix Chazz early one, gets Alexis to be his girlfriend and find a few other girls to be his bits on the side and stick Jaden and Johan together (Sorry, Rainbow shippers) This Stu, is in fact, perhaps the worst kind. He's completely and utterly BORING.
It goes beyond hijacking the plot or beating the primo duelists of the show. Oh no, it makes even the smallests pieces of interest in the show borning.
It's like taking a video game off your Xbox and dumbing down so you can play it on your Nintendo 64. It's that bad
The Troper: But then again, you're likely thinking "Oh come on, I'm sure it doesn't sound that bad, it's likely just 2 nerds with weird names badmouthing a fanfic!". But that, my dear young skeptic, is something that has to be read to believed. And what better way to read than....well, two nerds with weird names.
Dr. Library: My name is not weird! I worked hard to get that diploma mounted on my wall! Do you realize how many Crackerjack boxes I had to dig through! And baseball games I had to attend! And I hate baseball!
The Troper: Yes, that totally cements your sanity.
Dr. Library : Naw, I perfer to make it more like jello -budumdumtish-
The Troper: Ugh. Anyway, let's do what we reviewers are supposed to do and suffer for our fans. Or...readers...or people who just stumbled across this blog by accident.
Dr. Library : Right. Without further ado, let's dig into Yu-gi-oh GX: Duel Chronicles by Redmario!
The King of Games, Yugi Moto, is striving to find a duelist worthy enough to defeat him. Children and adults alike have been training to learn Duel Monsters and strive to reach his level.
Our story begins in one of the most prestigious schools known solely as Duel Academy and one of its newest students, who wishes to fill his lifelong dream of defeating the King of Games and fulfilling his fathers dream …
Now is his time to shine…
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you don't understand the rules of the Yu-Gi-Oh Trading Card Game, you may not able to follow this story. Proceed to the official website for rules and information.
I don't own GX or the card game. I give all credit where credit is due. I do however own my character and their decks however.
Dr. Library: And right off the bat, we run into a big stumbling block. The location of the author's note! Shouldn't that be at the top of the story? But it's right after his little opening monologue. That'd be like sitting through the Star Wars Screen call only for George Lucas to show up and say 'By the way, I own this and I'm gonna ignore all of the continuity and expansions that Star Wars has in all media but movies and see how far I can stretch my fanbase's loyalty!'
The Troper : What a very interesting metaphor...and how disturbingly fitting.
Dr. Library: I grew up in a house full of Star Wars nuts. There were a few Trekkie fruits in there, but most we wanted the laser swords
The Troper: You have my sympathies.
Dr. Library: They come in more than one flavor?
The Troper: Touche.
Prologue: Into the Academy
Chopping through seas off the coast of Japan is a small fishing vessel, the side of it bearing the name of "Sea Breeze". Standing on the deck is a sixteen-year old boy with short dark black hair and smoky brown eyes. He is wearing a black T-shirt, designer white pants secured by a black leather belt, white socks and a pair of black tennis shoes, and a semi thick pair of glasses resting upon his nose.
"We're approaching the docks now," came the captain's voice. The boy nodded as he glanced back towards the shore.
Dr. Library: Okay, the writing quality is poor, but hey, it's fanfiction. It's to be expected. But the first sentence gives me pause. "Chopping through the seas'. I'm not sure if you can desrcibe sea travel like that, but it sounds he's going fast enough that he's literaly just plowing through things like waves. But in a small fishing boat?
The Troper: Which raises another question. Why is a potential student for Duel Academy on a FISHING boat rather than a boat sent by Duel Academy to collect the students that HAVE signed up? Is this kid just a stowaway, or does Duel Academy's rulings say find your own way here or else you're screwed? Hope kids can swim then.
Dr. Library: Maybe it's part of their fitness program. "If you swim to our Island, not only will you be forced to replace your expensive children's playing cards and piece of highly advanced technology, but you'll wind up fit and trim! No need for a shirt on the beach this summer! Show off those killer abs and that scar you got when the shark decided you were lunch!"
Good to hear," he commented as he reached into a deck box on his belt. He pulled out a deck of cards and looked at them. The backs of the cards were crimson in color with gold edging. Black spots in the center of the cards were the last defining element. He turned them over and looked at the cards. Some held images of creatures; some were of spells and some depicted traps being activated."This is it. Once we win the entry duel, we can enter Duel Academy," the boy told his cards as he spread them throughout his hands.
"And my cards are going to make it possible." the boy thought happily as the boat approached the docks of a busy seaport bustling with activity. With a loud splash, the boat landed and a crew member stepped onto the deck laying down the gangplank allowing the boy to step out onto the docks.
"There you go lad, this is where we depart but I wish you the best of luck, If you head that way you'll reach the Duel Dome" The captain said as he tied the ship to the dock. The captain then tossed him a suitcase and a backpack and with a salute, stepped back into the ship away from sight.
Simon then turned towards the direction that the captain pointed out to him and after twenty minutes of walking found himself in front of a registration table with two men dressed in black sorting through various papers.
"Name please?" Questioned one of the men.
"Simon. Simon Weather." replied the boy as the administrator scribbled down some information before standing up and wordlessly leading him into the stadium which had been sectioned off into four different dueling fields. Inside those fields, other students were facing off with teachers in duels, using Blade-like devices on their arms. Using these duel disks, duelists could summon holographic versions of the cards they played to the field to wage battle with enemies.
"This way Mr. Weather. You're gonna be in duel field #3," the man in black instructed as he led him to one of the fields.
Dr. Library: First we have a very tap-tap-tap description-each action gets a whole sentence to itself! No commas for this guy, they're not worth his time. And strangely, he is describing the backs of Duel Monsters cards. I cannot find any purpose for this. Nowhere is it suggested this character is only just now picking up the game-he's going to freaking Duel Academy.
The Troper: Indeed, not to mention the dialouge leads a lot to be desired. If this was spoken, one can imagine this being stilted and forced, even for the opening dialouge. Characters speaking help show the character off as well, not just move the plot along, however slow that may be.
Dr. Library : Maybe he stole this from another language and it's all a very bad dubbing?
No, wait, that's some other fanfiction author.
The Troper: Insert forced joke about 4Kids here yourself kids, we're somewhat above that.
Dr. Library: Yeah, we just pick on people who fanfiction about children's card games, those losers!
Hey....I just insulted us, didn't I?
The Troper: There's a trope for that.
Dr. Library: -deadpan- And I wonder how you know that.
Dr. Library: Moving on, the boat docks with a splash (so was it flying above the water?) and the character enters Duel Academy and apparently, meets the Men In Black, registers to enroll and we learn his name, Simon Weather.
The Troper: Not too bad a name, lord knows there could have been worse.
Dr. Library: I was hoping for the 'Belmont' last name. At least then we could a whip involved....
Dr. Library: Simon goes to watch a duel and we get an info dump on what duel disk are and what they do. However, you don't know that they're wearing duel disks. All he says is that professors are wearing 'Blade-like' devices, with blade capitalized. Sooo....are they like trying to attack the students or they're trying to fight using a trio of passable vampire hunter movies staring a black man with shades and a sword in his coat.
Personally, I perfer the later option. At least if you got hit, you could take the movie and have something more interesting than this fanfic to watch later.
Down below, Simon noticed a duel going on duel between a boy about his age wearing a grayish-white school uniform and a dueling proctor. On the field in front of the proctor were two defense monsters known as Gear Golem the Moving Fortress (800/2200) and Big Shield Guardna (100/2600). The monster opposing the dueling proctor was a Vorse Raider (1900/1200) and there was also a face down spell/trap card.
"Alright new guy," The proctor called to the boy. "Multiple choice; you have two monsters staring ya down, do you A: throw in the towel, B: beg for mercy, or C: run home to mamma?"
"I'll go with D: none of the above!" The boy with dark hair announced before pressing a button on his duel disk. "I choose to activate my trap card. You see, with Ring of Destruction I can destroy any monster in attack position and we both take damage equal to its attack points."
A Ring of red bombs appeared around the Vorse Raider's neck and exploded on impact, dropping the boy's life points to 1300, while the proctor's dropped to zero ending the duel. As the holograms disappeared the Proctor smiled.
"Clever move," He said. "Welcome to the academy."
The Troper: Aaaaand immediately, we hit one of the main problems with this fic: He takes word for word scenes from the actual anime dub. The dialouge, the actions, the descriptions, pont for point, and includes them in his chapter. Did you think we were kidding when we said it was Season one GX? This is what happens when you DOUBT us.
Dr. Library: This is seriously season 1? I never saw the opening episodes, but good graces....that's the actual dialogue? How is using a trap card a clever move?
The Troper: Remember: 4Kids.
Dr. Library; This is going to hurt more than I thought it would, isn't it?
The Troper: In more ways than one.
Dr. Library: -hauls up a 24-pack of Dr. Pepper and starts one the first can- maybe caffiene will keep me sane!
The Troper: Somehow, deep down...I seriously doubt that.
Dr. Library: I can dream!
The Troper: This will only lead to nightmares, I'm afraid.
Dr. Library: -opens the second can- Shhh, I'm busy denying reality
The boy bowed to him and said dryly, "Thank you oh wise proctor."
'Sweet combo.'Simon thought.'Not many duelists would sacrifice their monsters like that, but this guy was able to put himself in the position for the win.'
Up in the stands, he saw three boys wearing Obelisk Blue Academy blazers who also watched the boy's duel intently.
"Wow, that guy's pretty good huh, Chazz?" The boy with blue hair and glasses said.
"Guess the rumors about him being some whiz kid were true, huh Chazz?" The boy on the other side said.
"He's a punk," The person they were referring to, a spiky dark-haired boy named Chazz. "We went to Duel prep school for the past three years. We're ready for the academy. These kids don't know what they're getting into. But they'll learn…the hard way, the Chazz Princeton way."
'Chazz Princeton, huh?' Simon thought. 'No amount of prep school's gonna help if don't work hard on the arena.'
"Attention. Will Simon Weather please report to Dueling Field #3," An voice over the PA announced. "I repeat, Simon Weather to Dueling Field 3."
'Guess its time to shine...'he thought as reported to the designated field.
Meanwhile, in another part of the dome a short, blue-haired boy also got finished watching Bastion's duel as another teenager with reddish-brown hair commented on it. "Wow, that guy really tore it up." He said.
Syrus looked at the teen. "Yeah, Bastion Misawa; they said he got a perfect score on his written exams out of all of us new applicants.
"Wow really, I barely made it through mine. Oh yeah, name's Jaden!"
The Troper: Word. For. God. Damn. Word.
Dr. Library : So this where 4kids gets their scripts
Same here, my name's Syrus by the way, nice to meet ya." Syrus then looked somewhat depressed. "I kinda have a thing where I get test anxiety. I don't know how I won my duel.""So you're in!" Jaden exclaimed slapping Syrus on the back. "Congratulations, I will be too as soon as I have my duel."
"Wait, you mean you haven't dueled yet?" Syrus asked shocked at the boy's ignorance of the current situation.
"Nope." Jaden replied, still psyched from the last duel.
"Then you might have a problem, you see there's one more duel after Bastion's and it's getting ready to start." Syrus explained before turning his attention to the duel arena where Simon's duel was supposed to take place.
Simon rose up from an elevated platform wearing his duel disk. In front of him rose another platform where a man wearing the purple outfits of one of the dueling proctors stood. The man looked at Simon with a steady glance.
"Alright, applicant," he said with an overbearing tone. "What is your name?"
"Simon Weather, sir." Simon replied, respectfully.
"Well you know the rules: you win, you're in." The proctor said, starting up his duel disc. "If not, better luck next year."
"My time is now!" Simon said, starting up his own duel disc. "You can bet on it!"
The Troper: In all honesty, while it isn't bad in some cases...it's worse when it doesn't even FEEL like this "Simon" character should be in this season, or arc, or even TIMELINE. An OC works better in their own Storyline, not forced into one he never fit in.
Dr. Library: They don't even make observations on him. I would understand if this were one of those fics where somone takes a background character and expands on their story a lot, but Redmario never said this was that. I read this and I swear I feel like he just photoshopped himself into the background.
The Troper: So as a result of that, the main characters ignoring his character, taking the characters actions words and dialouge word for word feels nothing more than filler, and padding.
Dr. Library: We can use that last one to wallpaper our cells when those men in white coats come find us after we try to light the Internet on fire. I think that cute blonde one was hitting on me last time.
The Troper: You're insane.
Dr. Library : Well, she was! And she was pretty good with that club, too. But I swear she smiled when I went down and looked in her eyes!
The Troper: It was a smile of reliefe because you finally went DOWN.
Dr. Library: You're just jealous because they took you down with a single taser blast and they emptied the battery into me
The Troper: Yes, yes, anyway, back to the story that will likely drive us even more mad, it would seem as though we're moving closer to the duel to feature our "Protagonist". The duel is the most important thing in a Yugioh fic...kinda. Like. 5 percent. The other 95 percent is Yaoi.
Dr. Library” I thought it was the redundant redunancy?
That's important, too. After all..it happens all the time.
Here, we'll show you.
"I'll start things off, if you don't mind." Simon said, drawing his five cards and then the starting draw phase.
"By all means." The Procter offered.
"Lets begin!" Without a beat, he placed a card horizontally onto the duel disk. "I'll set a monster in face-down defense mode and let you have a shot." A hologram of a face down monster card appeared in front of him.
The proctor drew his card. "Not bad, my turn." He looked as his card and then his opponent's field. 'He probably has high DEF point monster ready to take on my attack. But I'll have something better for it.
'The proctor slipped in a green card. "I play the spell Polymerization; fusing Blue-Winged Crown and Niwatori to form..." Images of two winged beast-type monsters, one was bright blue with red fiery flares on its head, the other was a obese hungry, white bird with green spikes on the head. They swirled together in a vortex for a few seconds and then reappeared as a single monster. A large blue feathered monster with razor sharp talons eager for its next meal... Punished Eagle (2100/1800)!"
"Very interesting, a winged beast monster." Simon said. "This is going to fun!"
"Well let's see how fun you think this is; Punished Eagle, attack his face down monster!" The proctor commanded. The eagle screeched as it flew over to the face down card. As it clawed into the card image, the monster was revealed. A short muscular warrior bearing a reinforced shield appeared ready to intercept the attack.(0/2200) The eagle was blown back by the impact, but was not mortally injured. "Who is that?"
"You shall not harm Simon!" cried the Warrior from behind his shield.
"My Time Hero Tor with 2200 defense points!" Simon replied. "Not too many monsters have this kind of defense power, and it just so happens I was lucky to draw one!"
"Clever, applicant." The proctor congratulated. "I'll set a card face down and end my turn." A face down card appeared behind his Eagle
Dr. Library: So let me get this straight..this dueling proctor, most likely a professor who has spent YEARS playing the game of Duel Monsters and teaching at Duel Acaemy, who knows of more cards than I'll ever see in my lifetime...is given a deck where his best opening move fusing into a mediocre 2100 fusion?!
-drains the third and fourth Dr. Peppers- Come on, give me that rush....
The Troper: Yes indeed, we have yet ANOTHER little quirk to our hero Simon: His deck. In the GX Time line, he's given a Hero Deck, but not just ANY deck, but a TIME Hero deck. A Time hero deck that can TALK to him. And others.
Dr. Library: And why does he cry' You shall not harm Simon?' Punished Eagle wasn't attacking Simon, it was going after the monster! And that last line....how is setting a defensive monster a clever move? Simon says that he drew it and not many monsters in his deck have that kind of stat. Unless....
Simon is cheating! -grabs torch and starts hunting for matches-
The Troper: Now now, he may have gotten a good hand, but come on, it's nothing to destroy him over! Maybe he doesn't have that good a hand...
"Here we go again." Simon drew his card. "Now, you're probably not going to enjoy this."
"Why's that?" The proctor asked.
"I play the spell Mystical Space Typhoon, destroying your face down card!" A cyclone ripped through the proctor's face down card. "Next, I'll play De-Fusion splitting up the fusion monster and returning the ones that created it!" Eagle suddenly flashed orange and then was split apart into two monsters; Blue-Winged Crown (1600/1200) and Niwatori (900/800). "Third, I'll play Pot of Greed to draw two cards!" Simon drew two more cards from the deck. "Then, I'll sacrifice Tor and summon a monster known as Time Hero Joreen!" The Tor disappeared as a new monster began to form in his place.
Soon a slender tan skinned female in front of Simon appeared. She wore a white robe adorned with light silver symbols that ran down her back. In her arms she wielded a wooden staff. (2200/1500)
"May the light be with you." she bowed her head in a slight prayer.
"Ah now I see..." said the proctor scratching his facial hair. These are the Time Heroes that came out recently?" The proctor asked. "You must be the kid that won Pegasus's recent contest."
The crowd started to murmur about the recent contest; it was a simple designing contest Industrial Illusions set up months ago. Its was plain to see who had won now.
"Whoa, I've never seen these cards before." Syrus said, staring down at the Time Hero monster.
"They sound like monsters I got in my deck." Jaden added, and got a big grin on his face. "Wouldn't mind battling that guy and his cards!"
"You mean Simon Weather?" Both boys turned to see Bastion taking a seat in a row in front of Syrus. "A smart yet odd individual; he was able to score the second-best after me in the written exam."
"Wow, that is smart if he was able to nearly match your score." Syrus stated.
"By the way, tight duel Bastion!" Jaden exclaimed.
"Thank you." Bastion said politely.
"From the looks of things, you could be the second best duelist here!" Jaden said, confusing Bastion.
"Guys, talk later!" Syrus jumped in, turning their attention back to the duel.
"That's correct. If you think there something now wait and see!" Simon said excitedly. "And even the attack is incredible, too! Joreen, attack Niwatori with Holy Strike!"
Joreen quickly bowed her head in prayer before dashing towards the lethargic bird and smashing it into pixels with her glowing staff, taking a large blow from the proctor's life points.
"And it doesn't stop there!" Simon added. "When Joreen destroys a monster in battle, I gain life points equal to 100 times the number of stars the defeated monster had. And since Niwatori was at level 3, I gain 300 life points!"
"Receive lights blessing!" she praised as she raised her staff as a shimmer of golden light rained down onto Simon's life point counter raising its total.
The Troper: ...Or, you know, he could just have the best hand in the history of ever. And that's not even SCRATCHING the surface of what the hell's going on.
Dr. Library: Okay, so he Mystical Space Typhoon...fair enough. AND De-Fusion? Gee, he has Hero monsters and they focus on fusion....nope, that doesn't sound familiar. And I like how the main characters comment on Simon's cards. Not Simon himmself, but his cards. Maybe they are the real protagonists for this story.
Dr. Library: -pops the tap on can number six- If I drink enough of this, maybe it'll start making sense
The Troper: Not only that, but Bastions comment on Simon being the second highest IN THE WHOLE CLASS doesn't sit right with me.
Dr. Library: True. We never saw Simon take the entrance exam, just his duel. Now that's par for the course for nearly any Academy fanfic, but it was never mentioned. He just arrived on a fishing boat, walked in, said his name and was let in. And now he's performing moves that are exactly the needed counter to the proctor's moves. And getting excited because the professor summoned a winged-beast monster.
I hereby vote Simon is secretly a Dark Lord of the Sith and is doing all of this merely to watch canon squirm and be his bitch.
He used Jedi Mind Rape to get the answers for the test, purposefully left one or two blank to lower his score, used Mind Trick to get into the school, used the Force to shuffle his deck while no one was looking to get the cards he needed and is mocking the professor so he can cackle evilly in his little mind about how superior he is to all of them and how's he's got them fooled
The Troper: HOw many more Star Wars references do you think we're looking at?
Dr. Library: Oh, loads. This guy is definately a Sith.
The Troper: That's right folks: Drinking time game. Don't come to us when your liver fails.
Dr. Library: Come to me, instead. I'll let you Troper's for a case of Dr. Pepper. He has to sleep sometime....-starts on Dr. Pepper number 8-
Not bad, never expected to have my monster disassembled and my life points diminished so quickly." The proctor informed him. "But it's not over yet! I still have more powerful monsters at my disposal."
"Okay, I'll set a facedown card and turn it over to you Procter!" A face down card appeared behind Joreen.
"My move!" The proctor drew his next card. "I'll sacrifice Blue-Winged Crown to the summon Chaos Command Magician in attack mode!" Blue-Winged disappeared in a flash of light before being replaced by a blue-skinned spellcaster. The monster wore dark green robes and hood with a scepter of the same color with a red spherical jewel. (2400/1900) "Magician, attack Joreen with Chaos Magic!"
The magician charged up power in his scepter and then let off a red lighting blast that struck the Time Hero dead on and destroyed her.
"Rest in peace, Joreen." Simon said in a sad tone as he put the card into the graveyard.
"Okay then..." The proctor said, feeling awkward at his opponent's mannerism. "I'll end my turn here!"
"Alright!" Simon said drawing his next card and then his initial hand.
"Yes, time to take this game up a notch!"
"I'll start by playing my facedown card, the spell Foolish Burial, which lets me send a monster to my deck to the graveyard!" Simon checked through his deck and pulled out a monster card and placed it in the graveyard slot. "I'll send Time Hero Dalo to the graveyard." Simon then, reshuffled his deck and placed it back in the disk. "Next, I'll summon Time Hero Gen to the field!" In a flash of light, appeared a battle hardened warrior wearing a light brown leather armor with brown pants holding a short sword ready for battle.
"I hear the call to battle!" The new hero proclaimed. (1400/1200) "Who else will join me Simon?" he declared as he raised his sword into the air.
Dr. Library: Okay...so the proctor fused winged beasts to Punished Eagle. Okay, I can live with that. Maybe it's some sort of Normal Monster deck focusing on those kinds of fusions....so why is Chaos Command Magician, a spellcaster, here? Did the proctor just rip open packs and slap them together?
The Troper: That's how most people duel now a days it seems. *marks something off on paper* And one quick insult to meta decks, check...
Dr. Library : I like how he sadly tells Joreen to rest in peace after she's sent to the graveyard. Because then I get to do this:
Simon: (Yes, that's right. Rest right now, because you won't be getting any tonight, my Dark Lady of the Sith!)
The Troper: In addition, you will likely notice something about his deck: EVERY ONE of his monsters talk when they're summoned or revealed. And believe us: IT GETS OLD.
Dr. Library: Not to mention, it's not said how they do this or how anyone notices that his monsters are refering to him by name.
Or the fact, you know, his cards are broken.
Dr. Library: And despite being TIME Heroes, I haven't discovered a single relation to time, gameplay-wise in any of the moves this guy makes. And I read ahead on chapters
From Simon's graveyard slot came the monster card he just placed in with Foolish Burial. "Of course Gen."
The young duelist proclaimed, as he took the monster card and set on the field. "When Gen is summoned, I can also special summon a Time Hero monster that is lower than his level from the graveyard!" In another flash of light, a short, agile jester wearing a pure white mask along with multi colored clothes appeared carrying a short curved dagger.
"Finally! I didn't think I'd get out of that place; it's no fun at all!" (1000/ 800)
"Not to be rude applicant, but unless you have something else in your hand to remedy the current situation you're in, your monsters won't be able to stand up to my magician." The proctor said as his monster tightened his grip on his scepter.
"It appears he's right!" Gen shouted.
"I'm too pretty to die!" Dalo added.
"Calm down, guys!" Simon said to his monsters. "I've got this all planned out!" He slipped in another spell card. "I play Temporal Fusion!"
"Another new card?" declared the proctor the spell depicting a large clock behind a swirling portal of energy appeared.
"Allow me to explain." he said as a smile came across his face. "This card is a lot like the spell card "Polymerization" but where as that card fuses two monsters together, Temporal Fusion allows me to unlock the full potential of one of my Time Hero's provided I can supply the materials for their fusion!"
Another new card?" declared the proctor the spell depicting a large clock behind a swirling portal of energy appeared."Allow me to explain." he said as a smile came across his face. "This card is a lot like the spell card "Polymerization" but where as that card fuses two monsters together, Temporal Fusion allows me to unlock the full potential of one of my Time Hero's provided I can supply the materials for their fusion!"
"Let's go!"shouted the two Time heroes jumped into the hologram of the spell card and then reappeared as one creature who looked much like Dalo except was about 6 foot tall with slightly darker clothing and a half black and white mask wielding gnarled wooden staff.
"Say hello to Time Hero Daigo! Simon declared.
"I'm ready to aid you in battle Simon!" cried the Spellcaster as he twirled his staff in the air before taking a fighting stance. (2600/2000)
"So... smiled Simon. "What were saying teach?" The proctor was speechless as he was proven wrong on the spot. Simon grinned.
"Well how about this? I play the equip spell card Times Weapon!" Daigo's staff was replaced with a long silver staff with a small clock adorning the top, "You see, T-Weapon raises the ATK power of a T-Hero monster by 600 points!" (3200/2000) "Now attack!"
"With pleasure!" Daigo started channeling his power into his new staff before summoning dark lightning which zapped the magician into the dust. The proctor had to cover his face with his duel disk because of the smoke.
Dr. Library: So let's see...a guy wielding a shield, a holy woman, a warrior and a jester....when he said Time Heroes, I was expecting futuristic guys in armor hopping around in worm holes or maybe a Doctor Who rip-off...not King Aruthur's court.
The Troper: Perhaps it's warriors from different time lines?
Dr. Library: Then some way to make that clear would be nice. Like using names like Joan of Arc, Robin Hood, George Washington, Saladin, Jerhico and so on. Things that we recognize as heroes and are from different eras. Not some chatterboxes
The Troper: Because we all know that the key to ultimate bad ass would be George washington going down on your ass with a cutlass.
Dr. Library : Correct. And I love his explanation for the Temporal Fusion card. "Where Polymerization fuses monsters together, I can unlock the full potential of one my monsters so long as a provide the fusion materials!"
"That's Polymerization.Why call it a different name?
It wasn't enough that Polymerization existed, your set of mosnters had to have a fusion card that worked just like Polymerization with a different name so you could show how different they are by....doing the exact same thing...Jaden does with his heroes....and people are awed by this...
See! See! He IS a Sith! He's clouding their minds like Palpatine did to the Jedi Council when they couldn't sense him when he was five feet away!
The Troper: I'm strting to agreew with yu now...
Dr. Library: Oh geeze, I think the fic broke his brain....
Next I play a face down and end my turn!" Simon said as a facedown card appeared in front of him."I don't why you bothered playing an ATK-increasing card when your monster was clearly superior already." The proctor said as he drew his next card. "But it's time to show you that should have saved it."
Simon was confused at that statement. "Why's that?" A hologram of a spell card showed up on the proctor's field. The picture was of a lightning bolt barrage. "Lightning Vortex!"
The proctor smiled. "I take you know its effects, since you know the card's name, but I'll tell you anyway. At the cost of one card from my hand..." He slipped a card into the graveyard slot of his disk. "I get to destroy all monsters on your side of the field!" Lightning quickly shot out of the card zooming towards Daigo causing him to cross his arms to protect himself.
Chazz was in the stands chuckling. "Let's see that no-name handle that!" But to everyone's surprise, the monster survived as he was surrounded by a light green protective bubble. "What!"
"What's the meaning of this?" The proctor asked.
"Oh! Did I forget to mention my equip spells other effect?" The Time hero duelist shouted. "A monster equipped with Time's Weapon also gets immunity to all other spells cards!" Everyone gasped at the revelation.
"Hmm, you seemed a little TOO calm when I told you about saving your cards." The proctor wondered. "But I guess the poor judgment was on my part. I'll play Birdface in defense mode to end my turn." Like the name said, a large bird like creature appeared and defended himself with his arms. (1600/1600)
"My time again!" Simon drew his next card. "I activate Smashing Ground, which lets me destroy a face up monster in defense mode! I wonder who..." A massive fist appeared from the sky and smashed the bird warrior to pieces.
"Now the time is right. Daigo lets wrap this up!" declared Simon as he pointed towards the defenseless proctor.
"Here's a taste of my power!" Daigo shouted as a dark energy ball rushed towards the proctor exploding on contact, knocking his life points down to 0.
Simon: 4100, Winner.
The Troper: See, what REALLY cracks me up about this part is the Proctor aKNOWS everyone knows what Lightning Vortex does, but he feels compelled to TELL EVERYONE ANYWAY.
Dr. Library: And it was really nice about how the proctor, who comments about Simon equipping a monster who was already stronger with an equip card, didn't bother to follow-up on his suspicions like any vetran duelist would and ask what other effects the card had!
Dr. Library : And how Simon conviently had an equip card that would make the professor's next move look foolish.
The Troper: Apparently he was grabbing his idiot ball too tight.
There's a trope for that, after all.
Dr. Library : The folks at Dr. Pepper love Troper, here, becaue it's my own personal drinking game when he opens his mouth. -chugs Dr. Pepper number ten and eleven- And he's holding back tonight.
Dr. Library: Despite the fact he's only made two trop comments tonight.
-stares at his drink- Did I spike this and forgot about it again?
The Troper: Would not be surprised if you did.
Dr. Library: Only because you got to film me re-enacting the whole Avatar movie last time....
I didn't even know we had blue body paint.
The Troper: See, it's comments like that that lets fangirls grasp it the wrong way.
Dr. Library : I know. It amuses me to no end.
Like a cat chasing a laser pointer.
Or Charlie Sheen ranting on how his so genius only he can understand it, thank god.
....I need better hobbies. -downs number twelve-
The Troper: We're trying to make this Fanfic at least bearable to discuss, it's not surprising out conversation turns out Charlie Fucking Sheen of all things.
Dr. Library: Point.
Also, Simon's duel is incredibly lackluster. They go a total of six turns, the professor confusing me again as he just summons another winged-beast mosner and Simon draws into Smashing Ground to kill it. No tension, no real explanation of the monster's and their effects or some cool kill move.
I was at least expecting him to pull some kind of fusion/Skyscraper combo to kill the proctor's ace monster
Oh wait, that happens later in the chapter. Ripped word for word, move by move, from the show. The only difference is that Simon gets to make a few obvious remarks about Jaden's duel
The Troper: So you'll understand if we don't show you the rest of the capter. Best way we could put it: watch the first episode, pause it mid way, read hs duel, then watch the rest. You will LITERALLY, LITERALLY not miss anything.
Dr. Library: In fact, we encourage you to watch it. Because then you will understand how Simon the Dark Lord of the Sith could wonderfully be played by a cardboard cut out.
And I haven't had nearly enough Dr. Pepper. I'm only halfway done with my pack
The Troper: So what could be said about Yugioh GX: Duel Chronicles? The fact it's...painfully bland.
Dr. Library: Most self-insertion fics at least have a small amount of interest because you want to see how badly they can screw up the canon. This story, I wouldn't even reccomend you make paper airplanes with.
The Troper: However, we will amit, this is NOT the worst fanfic we've read, not at all. There are worse, trust us, but....this was prett bad.
Dr. Library: It's littered with spelling and grammer errors, which get progessively worse as the story goes on, the new character does nothing to add to the story or make himself interesting and it's all so dull that Troper couldn't even find tropes to toss into here. There wasn't anything to trope! The only purpose this fanfic served to me at least, is that now I have enough empty Dr. Pepper cans to make a pyramid.
The start of a small one, yes, but soon it will be a shining red tin momument to my eternal glory as DR LIBRARY! BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
The Troper: Yes, yes, we know, we get it, you're insane. But I suppose we all are in this crazy, mixed up world...
Dr. Library: Oh no, I'm not insane. I'm sane. But sinc the whole is insane, that means that 'insanity' would not exist because it would the norm and since I'm sane that would mean I'm insane. But all are already are insane and I said I'm so that means.....-smoke starts pouring out of his ears
The Troper: ...Um, yes, anyway. That's all the time we have here in Review Roulette. I'm The Troper...
Dr. Library: And I'm Dr. Library.
The Troper: And we take the bullet so you don't have to.
Dr. Library : So long, folks. I drink to your health and continued readership!